Monthly Archives: April 2009

Free $250 speakers, kinda

My son bought a set of $250 speakers that can be returned in 30 days. His plan is to return them in 25 days. He calls me up when he is leaving the store to tell me how he was shaking when he left the store. I ask if he feels like he stole something and he said yes. He feels guilty because his intent when he bought it was to return it. He then goes on to say he is going to do that every 30 days and he will always have nice speakers for free. Is he serious, I doubt it? His mind is just checking out the possibilities. Life as a 17 year old with his own transportation and a credit card. I love the way his mind keeps spinning and thinking all these fresh ideas. They may not all be good ideas but I like the fact he is being creative.

He ask me why I am not telling him what he did is not ok. He said grandma would be telling him all sorts of reasons. I thought about this and I would have to say it is because I trust him to figure it out mostly on his own because I trust his intent is good. He is one of the most conscience people I know. He never wants to cause harm to others. He can not phantom why other do cause harm, even the thought of a paper clip attached to a rubber band on the back of someone’s neck is insane to him. (He sees this in school)

I told him he has morphed back into the 4 year old who was told he could not take the coconut out of the national park. When the ranger was not looking he grabbed up the coconut that was half his size, his eyes big as a cow and his hair wild from the ocean, squatted down a little low so as not to be seen and ran like crazy toward the park exit. We were near the exit laughing at him. When he reached us we gently took the coconut and told him he had to leave it here where nature could do what it wanted with it, not man. He felt a bit defeated but did not resist. This can bring a smile to my face anytime I think of it.

A School Meeting

Not Us
Not Us

 

My daughter goes to an Avid meeting at her school-some kind of program to help them get into AP classes. I have to carry her there for a 6:35pm meeting with a teacher she spent a whole period with earlier in the day.

Fine, I can do it and so can she.

The school office is full of stoic parents with their stoic teens. Very quiet. My daughter tells me how she wants to go get food since she is early. I ignore her and sit down. She sits too. We become stoic.

A teacher comes into the room and calls her name. He looks friendly, actually all the teachers doing the interviews look fresh and friendly as if they are enjoying themselves. My daughters back out in about 10 min.

In that time I speak with the parents whose daughter also goes back about the same time as mine. I ask them if they know what’s involved with this Avid program. By the end of the 10 min we are best friends. They live off same road we live off. The mom says maybe we can share rides. We exchange names and she shakes my hand.

Walking to the car,  my daughter tells me the teacher ask the hardest question, “What does she like most about school?” She tells me it was so hard because she kept thinking he would not like her real answer, the one she did not give him. “How unbelievable hot the guys are at school, or how hot the visiting guys on various sports were”.

We laughed.

Madlyn Primoff and the Branding of a Bad Mommy

I am in support for Madlyn Primoff.  I just read someone’s comment about how the school bus has kids walk to school if they live up to 3 miles from school. I think it might be 2 miles where I live but you get the point.

AZbunny wrote “My husband has nothing but contempt for his father who did this exact same thing to him, along with a lot of other physical and psychological abuse. Leaving your child by the side of the road IS psychological abuse and this mother should be investigated to see what other abuses her children have suffered. I doubt this is THE one and ONLY incident.”

We need to look at the whole pic to decide what is right or wrong, this takes common sense, something many are lacking. Of course this action done with HATE, taken too far with other incidents to go along with it, can have some scarring. But that is where the common sense comes in. People are judging just the action alone of letting kids walk home as evil. I believe it is NOT!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Is Madlyn Primoff a criminal?

My first thought when I heard about Madlyn Primoffs crime was “Hey, I’ve done that”.

Here’s what she did:
She ordered her two daughters, 10 and 12, to get out of the car and walk home. They were three miles from home.

Here’s what I did:
Driving home halfway down on our long dirt road, my son was whining and would not stop. I stopped the car and made him get out. He was four. I slowly drove home while he cried a safe distance from car. My plan was to let him back in the car shortly but he fell in a mud puddle therefore he had to walk whole way home. This was not pleasant for him but not torturous either.

Here’s where she lived:
White Plains, NY in an upscale suburb

Here’s where I lived:

In the countryside of St John, Virgin Islands

This is what I think of Madlyn Primoff:

She was a frustrated mother who decided to try something new. It was a little radical but not a crime. Her daughter over reacted and is probably sorry or not. The mother probably would of felt she finally took a hold of the situation and taught them they do not run things, or not.  (This would have been if the police did not become involved). The kids were probably in a safe neighborhood and very well knew their way around, or not.

This is what I think of me:

I was calm when I put my son out of the car. I watched him with love and not anger. I washed him up and loved him up when we got home and never apologized for my action. I was very happy the next time he started his whining while I was trying to drive and I said “Do you want to walk” and he instantly stopped the flow of tears and stopped the whining.

This is what I know of Madlyn’s girls:

Nothing!

This is what I know of my son:

He is a well-adjusted, delightful (yes delightful) 17 yr old that loves to hear the story of when he walked home covered in mud.

 

As a side note, I would like to thank Lenore Skenazy of Free-Range Kids, Mothers handbook, , Parenting with Duck Tape for their inspiration.

Living on an island in your teen years

should I stay or should I go
Should I stay or should I go?

Growing up in St John has many advantages and a few disadvantages. I always felt it was an ideal place to be until your teenage years. Some teens may argue with me about this and actually I could come up with a few good arguments myself, but who better to argue with than myself.

Here it goes.

The beach is a great daytime activity for anyone of any age. There are walks on the beach and trails close to the beach for young and old; there is windsurfing, sailing, and body surfing. Depending on the weather there is surfing, skin boarding, and kite surfing. When you add an actual boat into the picture then you have dinghies, motorboats, jet skis and sailboats. A boat can pull you by ropes to wake boards and ski. You can go spear fishing and scuba diving.

A lot of this takes money and if the money’s not there, these kids still find a way; they work for the vendors for trade to use their boats, they find friends with boats or they just hang out at the beach.

Continue reading Living on an island in your teen years