Monthly Archives: June 2009

Saying NO to being a parent

Someone wrote a comment on the Huffinton Post.

“I have never had the desire to be a mother and I do not believe I would be a good mother. Being a good parent takes time and commitment, something I can’t see myself doing. I enjoy doing the things I like to do. That may sound selfish, but I believe everyone should give a great deal of thought to how much you have to give up before deciding on becoming a parent.”


My reply

There are plenty of kids to go around. If you decide not to have them that is great, just as great as deciding to have them.

I have four and don’t regret it but would love it when I found people who had the time to put into my children and give me a break.

 I had a friend who decided not to be a parent. She would pick up my kids and spend a great day with them doing art projects or just going to the beach. They had the best time because they were the center of attention.

It worked out for everyone. I got time to myself, the kids got a break from me along with new energy, my friend got that special feeling you get when you see the world through a childs eye.

Everyone fills up with something positive.

stop! this is not for everyone
STOP! this is not for everyone

Last day of school

Last day of school.

Last day of setting my alarm for 5:10 am and again for 6:10 and again for 7:30am. Raina, Juma and Yoga in that order.

You probably are wondering why don’t I wake up at 5:10 and just stay up.

I just can’t seem to discipline myself to go to bed at 9pm. I require 8 hours of sleep a night. I get between 4-5 uninterrupted and then I steel the rest in bits and pieces.

It really is a slow torture. One or two days and I bounce back. Nine months and it breaks me down to dark puffy circles under my eyes and belly fat galore.

 So I will repeat the joy and say again,

Last Day of School!

ice cream
ice cream


last day of school
last day of school

Who is taking care of my 2 boys!

have you seen our mom?
have you seen our mom?

I took a nap today. Sleep rock hard, I was so beyond exhausted from continuous not enough sleep.

I dreamed I had 2 sons. One was my ex’s son but much younger and not sure the other, I think it was Juma, ages around 12 and 10. We were doing something repetitively. I think I was showing them how some people live. It seemed very important and we were all very much connected and focused.  

I woke up and was very slow to split away from the dream. This is the kind of dream you can easily write down when you first wake up because really you are still living in the dream. The reason you can’t write it down is because you are still living in the dream and very groggy.

I was telling my family at Sunday dinner at my mom’s house how I had this very vivid dream. So vivid that I wonder who is taking car of my two boys? Do they wonder where the f#* their mother went? Really! I can hear them saying, “WTF happened to my mom, she just disappeared!”

That’s how I believe they would have to say it to really get someones attention. The thing is, Juma doesn’t cuss, in front of me at least, so it would go like this, “What happened to my mom, she just disappeared.”  Amazing how the F word just makes everything seem so much more dramatic.

Are there two boys in another dimension still looking for their mother?